Oh J, no wonder you and I like each other so dang much! We're feeding off each other's liking! Ack!

I'm learning that with Histrionic Personality Disorder, often our (well, my) relationships are based on how much we can get the man ('the victim' ... I hate that term, but I do see its place, much to my shame) to be enamored with us. It's the 'HPD game', and it breaks my heart to think I play that with people unknowingly or unconsciously.

So in a way, dear friend, I relate to some of what you say here. The thing is, except for my husband, everyone eventually stops liking me at some point. Which leads directly into this intense fear of abandonment ... "I know you're gonna start not liking me and you'll leave sooner or later ... and when you do, I won't like you so much either ..."

I guess what I can say is that lots of us relate to what you write about here though it manifests slightly differently in all of us. Forgive77 is right on ... this is where we very much need CBT (get your butt back in therapy, my friend!) and DBT. I do wonder, too, if we would be this way if we liked ourselves.