I had an interesting conversation with my T yesterday and I thought it might interest people here.
T was talking to me about being triggered. He said when I first came to him, I was being triggered 90% of the time by things and only able to work through things without being triggered about 10% of the time. He said it then moved to about 75/25. Now I'm about 50/50.
So, clearly my reaction to things lies on a continuum, so I need to figure out what makes the difference and learn from that.
Then he said, one of the things he had to learn in his profession was how to keep a separation between himself and his clients. He was very quick to say that doesn't at all mean he doesn't care; he cares deeply about me for instance. But he has learned that his clients' stuff is their stuff. It isn't about him. He can't take on the pain and depression and memories because (a) that's not really possible anyway, and (b) he would have completely burned out years ago and would be no use to any client.
His point was that I do have the ability to choose how I respond to things just as he has to each and every day. He realizes I don't think I do at times, but that I have proven over time that I am learning how to do that, so further gain IS possible, even if it doesn't feel that way. A message of hope and support I guess. I'm full of skepticism, but logically I know he's right (I hate it when he's right
).
Anyway, I thought his description of what therapists have to do to maintain their sanity and effectiveness was interesting.