Why is it that when ever I worry about something enough that I want myself hurt??? Why is it that I want the pain just to escape from the mental pain? Why is it that sui and si are the only things I can think about? Why do I have to keep living like this? Why is it that nothing works? Why is it that I feel like I need to drop out of school for this semester? Why is it that I can't think? Why is it that the anxiety level has to keep increasing? WHY????

I had to vent my mind keeps going to the painfull way out of things, wanting the pain so much to just to see the pain that I really feel. My head is killing me, and nothing works to take the pain away. What is left for me to try??? Why is it that I want to cut, since my other method doesn't do any harm at all? Why do I want this so badly? Why do I have to deal with this?