i feel like a sweater that has a snag that keeps pulling and pulling and won't stop! The harder i try the more intense it pulls. My anxiey and whatever therse things im experiencing maybe "feelings" are so amplified that i think im going to burst. I dont kknow how to have a feeling. Well i get angry but i dont consider that a feeling i see that as a reaction toa behavior.
My ED is spinning out of control and to be honest i dont want to stop it and that my brain has taken over every rationale thought at this point is overwhelming me. Im completely one tracked and cant stop the tapes in my head from bringing up every negative thought or hurt or word that put me here and its on aoutplay to just keep repeating itself without a stop button. I cant even slow down at night my mind just races. and this is not a manic episode. Ive told my pdoc, my T and family Doc so they are all on the same page as i am but their words are just words. in one ear and out the other.
I soon feel like im just going to be one little piece of that sweater because i cant stop traveling mach speed down this path.
Im reaching out to anyone if they have ever felt this way and what did they do to slow themselves down? 
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 Life is a juorney not a destination-
-Souza
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.". - Chinese Saying
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