I felt rather upset last night and it continued into work- Yes I am a bit afraid to go into work now due to what I wrote out for everyone to see-- BUT The thing I did Right today was I came home and after laying around lifeless I WROTE in my Journal- EVERYTHING- Even my Plans (I had already written my letters one to everyone, my brother and the hardest to my boyfriend).. I then started searching (THIS WAS A BAD THING BUT A RIGHT THING CAME OUT OF IT) THE RIGHT THING is what I have around it would be awful if I did not get the job done, and I THOUGHT to myself- THAT WOULD BE WORSE THAN RIGHT NOW IF I did not get the job done..... I then went and got my script that was filled, and decided to take it as suppose to-- I also went shopping for 2 things in the store- cereal and something for my boyfriend that I just saw at a good price (I got it still even though at the time i was rather upset with him) and I miss read the price or got charged double for the cereal BUT I did NOT over react and BEAT myself UP- I SAID WHATEVER- Have to look closer next time. Then I DID DO A LITTLE FUN Shopping (UNDER 20 bucks) FOR ART SUPPLIES-- I GOT CANVAS to do PAINTING (I Have not done this in forever) AND SOME BEADS FOR JEWELERY (My new found hobby before this last week)....... I HAD TROUBLE At the store with crafts DUE TO I WAS SO BLANK but I MANAGED TO GET SOMETHING that MAYBE can HELP Me KEEP GOING and NOT THINK SO BADLY and to get my mind away from work at some time.... ALSO I WAS NOT 100% BUT THE KIDS AT THE STORE MADE ME TRULY SMILE WHICH AFTER WORDS SURPRISED ME
THEN I went and saw my boyfriend AND SMILED FOR he DID write me back on the note I LEFT Him BEFORE I LEFT For the store (I HAD came home from work and then left even though still upset)... AND I TALKED TO HIM ABOUT WHAT BOTHERED ME-- I LOOKED IN MY PHONE PICTURES and Found one that was taken about 2 weeks ago of me and him smiling and being silly-- I SENT It to him, saying I WISH I COULD BE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME AND SORRY I AM NOT-- and then I said I am sorry I got so depressed last night and was planning-- WE TALKED--- and WE TALKED Some more later (I am getting BAD THOUGHTS again on him CHEATING AGAIN BUT I AM TYRING TO NOT and REMIND MYSELF it is my fears, insecurity and other stuff-- and NOT TO THINK SO BLACK AND WHITE TRY SO HARD)....

I am sorry if that is long-- BUT it has what I have done right today even though there is bad.