Geekkou-- HUGS--

I have only been together with my boyfriend for 3 years this coming feb, BUT I do find TALKING TO him with A LOT that is bothering me, even the dark times if I CAN -- (I WRITE Him letters as well and then he reads them to me, and we talk after words he had read the letter with me in the room- IT IS Very hard but it is communicating- just saying - Writing is easier for me at times than talking). BUT I get my emotions out, I tell him what is up- What is bothering me- What MAY have been misunderstood by me or him- AND I always end my letters with a some what solution possibility and that I LOVE HIM and that I want to be better and that with some things I do need his help or acknowledgement on things--

I am sorry that is long- BUT talking-- I can tend to "sabotage" if I stay quiet by doing things that I DONT even Realize till he brings up that I am being distant or trying to pick fights about stuff with how I am talking and acting. YEAH this has started some fights (very few but still it is due to I am so in my head) but when I cool down, realize that he maybe right and re-look at me; I sit down and talk with him about my emotions and how i feel-- He cares, he loves me, and he finds my side as well with things a lot.

SOME Times PEOPLE that are CLOSE have no CLUE what is going on in OUR HEADS_ This EVEN with some that KNOW us very WELL.... But They are not mind readers.

If there are little things (LIKE When I get down with the blues (i don;t like to say depressed I am sorry) but a clean apt is a little helpful) Through the years , I have complained enough about it and talked to him-- he tends to see IF he can when down, and he will start to make an extra effort I have noticed-- I am not sure if this intentional or a nature of him picking up things and trying to make a little happiness in me to make me feel better... idk. but it helps a little - It is not another thing for me to complain about

Ugh- I am sorry I wrote so much- I hope you can understand what I am saying and can maybe relate to something in there to help out

Either way-- I WISH YOU THE BEST AND CONGRADS!!!

Communication in a relationship is really a big thing to be great (ANY relationship I see that as )