All,

TRIGGER ABOUT QUITTING T ALTOGETHER

I've been down this road so many times with what Ts view as my "hypersensitivity". ...

Without going into huge detail here (internet feels risky today), I think it's "safe" to say that I've burned out another T. I pushed back pretty hard with my T yesterday...when I thought things were way off course.

I have a huge issue with feeling like my t is incredibly pessimistic about my capacity to change, be resilient, be empowered and I have said so. And sticking up for myself, in this relationship, too energetically feels like I'm crossing some kind of line.

Example:

T said, you're surviving at your job. I was like...pardon me? I've put new systems in place, getting along with new leaders, doing creative stuff there....what??? Surviving? I'm actually thriving!

it seems really perverse that I should feel like i have to defend how I'm doing....and build a case for myself.

And then, it seemed the session went downhill to the point where I said..what will happen during our last session? T said, well, you'll tell me what you got out of this compared to your goals and we will basically say goodbye.

i was like....gulp! but honestly it felt like a big relief.

And now, in the cold light of morning, I don't see why I should go back....

I'm feeling really slammed right now. But i honestly don't feel like I want to trundle in there next week for more of the same.

I talked to t this morning and said, well, I think we wore each other out.
That's what I feel like I have done with this T. And with others. By insisting that I am accurately reflected, and understood ..rather than just glossing it over.

Part of me feels like not going will be kind of pulling a no-show but on another level, I don't feel like this would really benefit me at all. I don't think I want to put myself through this wringer again.

I'm bummed because I feel like things were going well.....until I brought up issues of Ts interaction with ME....My problems between me and family...good discussions, me and money,also good, but between me and T...it's a disaster.

I think I'm quitting. I guess I AM hypersensitive. But I feel like acting like everything is cool when it is not is no way to go.

I think it will be less of a disappointment than a relief. Like when you quit hitting your head against the wall. It feels good when you stop.