((((((((((((SS))))))))))))))))))))),

My heart is with you, having to go through all of this with Mother & your family. I hope that the
Dr's appointment will show up that he is right about getting all the cancer in the surgery. Cancer is such a hard thing to go through.

I know I went through this with my Mother just about 1 1/2 years ago. Unfortunately, my Mother ignored the lump & went into the Dr when the cancer was already stage IV. It took almost a year of chemo & radiation treatments before he could even do the surgery. I remember clearly the morning after surgery when he came into the waiting room telling me that "he got it all" (like how could he tell that since the tests weren't back on the tissue then). Within 5 months, it was obvious that something was very wrong again, but I had no support with the fact that the cancer had really spread.

My Mother trusted that her Surgeon would tell her everything she needed to know, & he continually told her & me that "he got it all", & she kept telling me that he "saved her life", & that with her prayers & the prayers of all her friends & church people, that she knew she was going to get better. No one ever told me what was going on with her either, which was part of the reason the home care RN pulled the ID theft I caught her doing along with all the other trauma things she put me through.

If there is anything that I can help you with,,,,,just talking about what is going on, thoughts, support of any kind, I am here...& you can PM if that is more comfortable. So as not to inject my experiences I went through with my Mother into your thread, I will PM you with some of what I went through.....there are many many triggers that now take me back to the trauma I went through & unfortunately, the trauma had so much effect on me that I haven't really been able to experience the grief that would be normal feelings to be dealing with.

I think you are very right to keep up your mothers hope.....hopefully her Dr will be honest & up front with her about her condition.....it is so important for the patient & family to understand everything that is going on. That way, support for everyone involved is a very important thing for everyone involved.

You are being a wonderful support for your mother, but do put it all on yourself to make it all ok. I have found out, that making things ok is impossible, but supporting the best way possible is the most we can do.

Debbie