Hello, Unreality,

I really have to wonder if this lady is for you. From what you say she says to you I'm rather doubtful. It's only too very, very possible that someone can be very much in love with another person who doesn't really love them. And you would not be doing anyone a favor (either you, the lady or the baby) if you marry her when she doesn't love you.

If she tells you all the time to stop saying you're sorry or thank you, if she spends most of your time together sleeping on the sofa, if she's angry when you wake her up and then happy to take someone else's phone call, if you've given up your job, school and plans for her, and she doesn't really respond very well, my friend, even though I've never met you, my very dear friend, this young lady is not, I'm only too sure, the right one for you.

That may be tough to take, hard to hear. Difficult to swallow and absorb. But never, ever, ever marry someone who isn't right for you. And the young woman you describe very much sounds like someone who isn't right for you.

It doesn't matter if she's carrying your baby. Maybe it's yours and maybe it's not. But even if it is, the two of you are better off apart than in an unloving marriage, which is worse than hell. Back off, lad, distance yourself from her. She sounds, from what you say, like a very selfish person indeed. And selfish people, male or female, most assuredly do NOT make decent marriage partners.

You specifically asked for advice here, setting forth your own observations and experiences. What I'm saying to you is simply a response to what you yourself have said and written. I haven't made up anything else myself. I have no axe to grind with women or young people. I'm just giving you a straight, honest answer: Don't marry this young woman. You'll be making a HUGE mistake for which you will later be very, very sorry.

Take care!