Yup. Know how you are feeling. I think most of us go through issues similar to yours.

Thoughts:
- ask the school if they can have a counselor talk with him.
- arrange for him to see a professional counselor.
- keep in mind that that he is a minor and you have the rights as a parent to seek and take him for help.

Look into finding a counselor or support group for yourself. More ideas and strength can come from listening and sharing with many people.

I only have sons and discovered that between the ages of 16 and 18 (and even into their 20's) it isn't easy to parent them. I was divorced and had to learn how be a PARENT who was willing to draw the line of what is ok and what is not. (As the pediatrician warned me many years ago - they will be bigger than you - so you need to learn how to carry a big stick). It isn't always easy, but I've learned that it is necessary!

My sons are now over the age of 20. They come for dinner every Sunday and I always let them know that they can bring guests. Very basic rules remain in place. Neither my spouse nor I will tolerate rudeness or bad language from anyone who attends. And guess what? My sons always take time to alert their friends about our rules ahead of time. No guest has refused to attend dinner...