Hey Lilith

I used to fall so quickly into the 'old ways' and then I would just throw myself full force into 'who gives a ***** 'and do it twice as much. NOW, however, I choose to see a step into old ways as a side step off my path, a timeout. I can choose at anytime, to continue on my path by stepping back onto it. I choose to not believe that something is forever.

When I have stuff going down and I really want to c*t or bruise or smoke fifty packets of cigarettes, I jump inthe shower with a really nice gentle body srub and GENTLY rid myself of the days hangons. The good thing about body scrub is that if you do it gently you can go for ages and that in itself gives you that feeling of having achieved a good clean.

I am probably rambling. You will move on from the bleach baths sister, just like you must have done in the past.

Storm