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I have to repeat the words of everyone else. Contact the crisis team, or your doctor and follow their recommendations. It's possible you can get a day pass to be out on your birthday and in any case you need to be alive to celebrate a birthday. Please get the help you need.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.
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