I feel like I'm going to lose it any moment now. I can't sleep & no matter what I take to help me sleep it's still not enough. School is taking a lot out of me...well the people there are draining me. Going to my T session only makes me beat up myself more. Coming home is depressing. My mind won't rest & stop obsessing over my teacher. Anxiety won't leave me alone. My physical health is a bit poor. No one understands me...hell I don't understand me. I feel alone in a dark hole & I've been fighting the urges to cut. I think I have SI on my mind so hard that I keep unintentionally harming myself. Then when I see the scar it has left behind its like I did it on purpose but honestly was unaware of how bad I accidentally hurt myself. I can't cry or as T would say I stop myself from crying. I feel crazy & stupid because I can't stop this vicious cycle. I'm trying not to cut but I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to resist it.