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PurpleFlyingMonkeys · Jan 19, 2012, 08:00 AM

I considered posting this in the PTSD forum and really wasn't sure and thought maybe it should go here. If it would be better in the PTSD section, I don't mind it being moved.

***Trigger warning***

So last night I kissed my boyfriend as I always do. It was just really strange. Not kissing him at all, that's always great and all but the smell and the taste... Were very familiar. Not his normal smell or anything. The smell reminded me of someone else but I couldn't put my finger on who. The smell/taste kind of took over me and before I knew it I was feeling somewhat like a child. Everything (including him) started to scare me and I wanted to run away. I panicked but realized what was happening and tried to control myself and ground myself. It helped but now I can't stop thinking about that smell and why it had such an effect on me.

It was the smell of his breath. Not alcohol (he hardly ever drinks and not much) it wasn't the taste of food or anything, just the natural breath I guess it was. It wasn't the same as it normally was. I could tell I had smelled that and tasted that before but couldn't figure out where.

So now I'm confused why, and am here to ask a question... Lately it seems I've been having these kind of flashbacks (the reason I say it can be moved) if that's what you want to call it (as said before in previous post) of things I don't understand. I feel like I was when I was younger, but I can't tell you where or what it's coming from, like I can't tell you that I'm feeling like I did back on so and so day because I don't know what's causing it or caused it. I don't remember that taste or smell but it's strangely familiar. I don't remember any scary moments from that but I felt like there was something to be afraid of and am guessing the smell/taste is what triggered that.

I've had a lot of blackouts. I'm thinking maybe these feelings could be from times when I blacked out but IDK, it's just been happening more and more. 6 days until I see my doc... Wish it was today

Sum it all up... Questions:
1. Can you have a flashback of something you don't even remember?
2. Would this even be considered a flashback?
3. How do you know you can trust these feelings and that you're not just crazy for freaking out over a simple smell?

Thanks for any input, as always, sorry it's so long