Ok thank you for the ggreat perspective. First staying home and taking care of children and being a wife. I did not make myself clean. I own my own company she works with me in the office. She also has her own comapny that she has had for several years. She is out in the comunity and is loved and revered by all in the 5 communities that she is active in. So I do not believe that your thoughts are correct on that aspect. I called myself old school because I feel that I have a old soul and have the morals of someone much older or a gen before me. I am only 41 and she just turned 40. I will give what you said some thought. We went to a event last night that he and his wife was at. I was really worried how I would handle it. She had on a cocktail dress and asked that I wear a outfit that she picked. I went in and shook his hand and bought him a beer. small talk. My wife kept looking at me asking me if I'm ok. I said of course. His wife and my wife planing to go to bingo next week and his wife said that He and I should go out the same night. She just does not have a clue. I came home and chatted a little and I we went to bed. My last thought before my sleeping pills kicked in is that "I am no longer a man. I shook the mans hand and bought him a beer." Its just not right 5 years ago I would have beat the crap out of him. But I dont want to make waves right now cause my next action could be my last in out relationship.