Yes, 12 years old know the difference between right and wrong. Unfortunately, many children are taught to obey others with authority then become easy prey for predators. It sounds like you were all alone in your situation with no help to escape this monster. It wasn't your fault he hurt you. You didn't know he would violate you that way. Fear is a powerful thing that paralyzes you. You were an innocent child and powerless over him, period! But, today you are no longer powerless. You are on the road to recovery. Just remind yourself, "It was not your fault!"