Thanks for the replys

I have said to him if he wants to try and reconcile things in NZ then do so. I even gave him my phone for him to call and he said no. He wants her to divorce him and hes hoping this trip he will receive the papers. He calls the boys every Friday and speaks to them and sometimes his wife just to touch base and see if everything is ok.
I would love nothing more for them to live with us. I've mentioned about him living in NZ or closer but says England is his home and hes not moving there.
I come from a single parent family and lived with my dad. He seems to think I am an exception to the rule as kids always go with there mother!
Hes away on a course till friday and his recent change has only come about these few days. I think we need to talk about it all face to face.
I don't want to be a distraction to him over there and wont meet the boys if that's what he wants. But I do want to be there for him as its going to be a stressful time. I will not come between him and the boys but I think he needs to decide exactly what he wants and stick to it. The boys do need there dad and he needs them.
If he wants to make a life with me that's fine, If he wants to reconcile that's fine (i'll be heart broken yes, don't get me wrong). I just don't want to spend the rest of the year waiting for that decision to be made. I've put my life on hold in the past and am not going to do it again.

Thanks again for you support and I'll let you know how I get on x