My Support Forums - View Single Post - Update: Re-perpetual facade

Forgive77 · Jan 19, 2012, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Thanks guys

I really want to be with him, but mahn! Am i scared...
A bit of backround: we fell inlove back in HS, but he was dating a friend of mine. After HS, he went abroad for a few yrs and got involved with a very dodgy guy (drugs,gangs,abuse),finally got rid of the guy for 'our' daughter's sake.

Then he came back home in '09 (we were in regular contact) and we met up, and confessed that we still loved eachother.

We decided mutually that we didn't want an official relationship (which in hindesite makes no sense,as we act like a couple and talk like a couple) but we both had baggage...

He had a gf who comitted suicide and I'm not exactly the picture of stability.

PS...some CBT/DBT...your ex cannot hurt you any longer. You are safe. You really are. =)

Me? I didn't want a repeat of my 1st bf (didn't think he'd hit me, just didnt want it to end and be all for nothing) aaand had/have alot of baggage,PLUS my bpd/bp stuff...

Ffwd to today, I'm scared I haven't and will not be able to let go of the damage my X left behind. He left me feeling unworthy...

What if I mess up again? What if hurt him again? What if i'm not good enough for him?

Idk what i'm asking of you guys. Maybe say 'Ophelia,don't be such a sissy'? Idk

Has he done anything than having just gone away? If not...don't worry about it. He's been in your life for 15 years....you know everything about him and he knows everything about you. Unless you know it is going to be toxic b/c of his issues, and him not working on them...then I think it'll be okay. Get the book I told you about. You are so much better now than the last time I saw you cutie. I think you'll be fine. He knows your issues....take a deep breath and believe in it. But get the book so you don't go insane!!

I had a PS I don't know where it went. Here's some FREE DBT/CBT. You are safe now. Your EX can no longer hurt you. Soak that in and believe and understand that, and don't hold on to anything else.