You may not be able to change your father. He sounds like a stubborn and self centered man. You can work on yourself, so that the things that you detest about him will not trigger you and control the way you feel. I have people in my life that I can barely tolerate, but have decided to politely tolerate them and move on as best I can. That is not very easy but it makes my life somewhat more peaceful. I expect nothing from them and that is usually what I get. He is probably not totally antagonistic toward you but sees all of life in terms of himself and his needs. You can take the higher ground and do not have to let his attitudes run your life
Your mom on the other hand is stuck in between. I would try not to create a situation where she must choose between you and your father. That is an intolerable position for her and everybody loses. I really wish you well