Alcohol is but a symptom. We have a problem with living. All the things you describe, the lack of confidence when you're sober, the inability to be intimate when you're sober, how you're fun and everyone likes you when you're drunk....that was me. But eventually it didn't work anymore. Eventually I was sick of having to drink to live. Now that I'm sober and very involved in AA I don't have those issues. At first it was so hard to talk to guys sober...now I can do it. It's all a learning experience. It can be done. You don't have to drink again. You don't have to loose your phone in a library again. Keep coming back here, and call your local central office if you want to find some meetings, or even go online. Good luck!