I've just been feeling so down this past month. I don't know what exactly I feel anymore or why I feel this way, I just know that sometimes it can be unbearable. Every day I wake up and just try to get through the day. I do absolutely nothing but lay in bed all day. I barely eat, I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to talk to. I don't really want to go anywhere anyway. I've lost just about everyone in my life. I don't have any family or friends. I have two people I'm very close to and talking to them makes me feel so much better, but I can't always expect to do that can I?

I tell myself I'm just being silly and I shouldn't have anything to worry about but it doesn't work. I tried writing, listening to music, playing games and watching TV to pass the time. I went on Crisis Chat and spoke to someone. Nothing helps. I wish it was as simple as just going out and making new friends but it's not. I don't think anyone understands.

I don't know if it's just in my imagination but I feel like I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I used to look forward to talking to my friend but like I said above, I can't think that it'll always happen. Sometimes I really just want to sleep the entire day away. I'm really starting to hate myself and I hate that I have these thoughts. Nothing I do or tell myself is making it go away.