Thanks for your replies. Muchly

I think the problem with living in a individualized world is that you have to make meaning out of your life yourself. When you're in communities where things are expected of you from other members of your family and you feel like you NEED to follow them it is easier to tell yourself your 'meaning' lies in that group. That you have to function within those walls to help your family/group/whatever prosper.

But what if the meaning I create is not right........ and i wake up one day realizing I wasted my life?

Also, I think its important to try not to over think existence and the purpose of life. I honestly don't think there is a purpose. I think that we make that purpose for ourselves in the work we do. So if that means you're a hell of an activist then go for it. If it means being a mother of several children, go for it. If it means you are religious and want to get to the pearly gates of heaven, be a follower of Christianity. We mold ourselves into what we want others to know about us.


but if there is no purpose, why bother staying alive? aren't our pursuits just passing the tedious days between birth and death?

again....... why bother than?

Yeah, I have problem with thinking too much and deconstructing and overanalyzing. I wish I knew how not to use my intelligence and acquired knowledge against myself.


the omens the omens...look backward...and see if any of your bipolar got you to where you are. Like if you weren't bipolar....you would have none of what??? I have answers to that at this point in my life...maybe you should start thinking like that.


I don't know where I'd be.......... maybe living some slightly tedious life, maybe being where I am with much less drama.

This is not to say that one shouldn't consider where one's passion and energy should be devoted. As for fear of doing something because it may have an unintended consequences? Ummmm, no one escapes this reality, and you are no exception! Sorry. All any of us can do is our best, and approach things with honesty and good intentions.

I am just bit afraid, I will not be able to atone to the bad I'd do. That I would not be able to deal with the situation.

yeah, this pretty much holds me back with people........ I am afraid to hurt them by being who I am. I am afraid I will not always be able to be there if they need. Or that I am not what they need. That i may lead them astray.


This is just a weird spot I am in....