(((((((((((((((((roe)))))))))))))))))))

thank you for sharing in such an intimate way. yes, i'm the only daughter of my father. we share that as well.

thank you for reinforcing that this can go "any way" and knowing me, it probably will. i might cry now, and not give it a second thought on "the day".

i have such regret...such regret. no, i didn't see my father for 14 yrs. I couldn't. I didn't know where he was. He would call once in a while drunk...

the thing is, I let my mother's anger and stories blot out the GREAT memories that i had of him...memories i didn't recover until he was dying.

his dancing eyes...dancing with the only true love i'd felt as a child, dancing with pride, dancing with humor over my actions, dancing with pure love. The moments spent on his lap feeling safer than a body could ever feel were the best. My father was blamed for more than he deserved. He would take me to work with him and show me off. he would take me for special times at his job while an MP and put the tv in the car and rub my hair till i fell asleep...just me and him. i was his "china doll". any true feelings of love, pride, safety and happiness came from that man and reflected in eyes brilliant and dancing...

his same dancing eyes looked to me when he was ill and passing. i was supposed to be watching him and i'd doze off and wake up to his eyes on me...saying SOOOOOOOO MUCH. every conversation, every look, said "i love you". he thanked me for not letting him die alone. i miss my daddy today.

just before he passed, i took my oldest daughter to see him and he got incredibly confused. he told me that he thought he was in heaven because she looked like an angel... she looked just like me and that the perfect angel was his "kimmy dawn".

kd