Echoes - thanks for going to all the trouble to find that. I did not think of it as meaning I found her committed and reliable, but I understand. I admit to some small amount of attachment. Just not enough to warrant this reaction.

I think if I go see one of the back up therapists, I will be reassured I find them all (of the ones I found somewhat not unacceptable) interchangeable and maybe this feeling of what ever it is (disgruntled, off, weird, or something) will abate.