You're not incompetent. Trust me

My mom helps out ALOT with my daughter, and it has nothing to do with any dx. I hope I can afford something like that if I should lose my mom, cos simply put, i'm just not qualified...
I can understand how your husband's absence can put you in a tailspin, but remember that you 'got this'.
You can handle it, take comfort in the FACT that he IS coming back.
Maybe now that you've identified a trigger, you can soften the blow with some soothing/relaxation techniques.
I'm cheering for you!