Now next thing is what to tell the family, since they all appear to think I'm a constantly raging murderous bar-stud... Then again I could just throw it all away and do what they do to me in another sense... Break their legs and then kick and scream that the cure is getting up and running a marathon (yeah my magic cure is "there's nothing wrong with me, stop moaning ffs")

Joking btw, that would wind me up in prison or worse