Wow, this thread is very helpful!

My name is Josh, I am 22 and I am pretty much in the same boat as a lot of you. After searching online for reasons why I love but do not like my mom and finding nothing but horrible stories of abusive moms, I was starting to think I may have a problem. But this thread is exactly what I was searching for!

The thing is, my mom was nothing but supportive of me growing up. She would do anything in the world for me and has proven that when I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis at 15. She took me to dozens of doctors and got me any treatment I needed to get better, including 3 surgeries. Now I am completely better and I never forget what she went through over the course of 4 years to get me better.

But when I was about 16 or so, I started to become annoyed with things my mom does and it has only gotten worse since. She is overweight and it has caused her legs, mostly her knees, to hurt when she stands for any period of time. She has "tried" to lose weight dozens of times, but it always ends up the same way. About 2-3 weeks in to what ever she is doing, whether its a diet or exercising etc, she starts to cheat and after about 4 weeks she gives up and makes up some excuse as to why its not a good time for her to do it. Its not that I do not like my mom because she is overweight, its because I do not think she really tries to do anything about it.

Over the years she has stopped doing a lot of stuff for herself, she will have one of my siblings get something from another room for her, or have my dad make her lunch for work, and she even has my dad drive her to work now. The more she does this, the more I do not like her and can't stand to be around her. I don't even like being in the same room with her anymore because she is so dependent on other people and I just want to scream "DO IT YOUR SELF!" every time she asks for something. I feel so bad about it but I feel like she is slowly killing herself because she does not do anything for herself anymore and that just compounds the problem she has with her weight.

I can remember when my mom did everything around the house, when I was little I would help her fold the laundry or do the dishes, not because she needed me to, but because I wanted to help her. Yes that may have been partially because I was a kid and kids like doing grown up things, but I liked being around her because she was always happy. Now I cannot even remember the last time she was truly happy which is another reason I do not like being around her. It is depressing, which makes me sound like a horrible son, but it is. The only thing I have found that actually makes me want to talk to my mom is when I smoke weed. It makes me relax and makes my moms irritating habits more tolerable.

When my mom actually feels like doing something like going to lunch or whatever it is, the day is usually cut short because she will complain about her legs or she thinks everyone is starring at her and we go home. This over time has really made me resent her because it has made family outings miserable. I don't even go on them anymore because I know how it will end up and my day is better spent doing something else, again, I know this makes me a horrible son but I can't help it.

I have been telling myself for years now that if my mom would just lose weight I would like her again but I do not know if that is ever going to happen. I feel so bad that I feel this way but I am not sure what to do about it. I love her and always will but I just do not like being around her

I kinda feel like it is a genetic thing as well because my mom does not like her mom either. It is for a different reason, but still, I feel like I may just be prewired to not like my mom.

Sorry if this is a bit long winded, I just really needed to vent.