Then stop trying to fit yourself and your alters into a neat little box that contains what you know about DID. I dont mean to be rude but DID isnt this neat little box you need to fit your self into. its a disorder that can affect people in many different ways. no two people with DID are the same. no two people with DID have exactly the same system of alters, no two people have the same exact way they dissociate. no two people have the same way of what their triggers are, not all alters are set up textbook style of name rank serial number, what trauma caused them..

there is such a thing as an alter that has no name, no memory of trauma, no likes, no dislikes, no everything on the above listing, no everything on the listing with in the link.

each persons system of alters is set up their own way and have their own way of being. most do not follow some textbook questionnaire..

example many of my alters were not "map able" Some didnt have names, some didnt have the memories of trauma, some didnt have emotions,

some were ghost like, some were animalistic like, some were just there for times when I needed to feel nothing, know nothing, do nothing.

these "how to.... (whatever) ....your alters" stuff you find on line can be helpful for some but should not be used as the "bible" or "manual" for your own systems.

the easiest way to get to know your system isnt by trying to stick them into a neat little box of what you find in books and online.

its by getting to know you and your own system and letting your system guide you. DID got you through the worst of your life it can and will get you through this bumpy road called healing.

you wrote you are still in the denial stage.... that may be why the alters are not sharing anything with you right now. alters will only share what you are ready for.

my suggestion stop trying to ram your way through everything there is to being DID, trying to get things done. you have been DID for all your life its going to take years to tip toe, walk your way out of it.

take the time you need to get used to the idea that you may have DID.

if you havent been diagnosed (I can never remember who has and who hasnt on here) take the time to seek professional help and go through the diagnostic testing.

if you have been diagnosed work with your treatment providers. they can help you through this denial hurdle and show you what the best way to get to know your system of alters are by what is best for you.

some peoples systems can be "mapped" and some peoples systems cant be "mapped".

so just take it one step at a time. DID and systems of alters, maps, symptoms.. they are not a neat little box that you have to fit yourself into.