I just had another total cutting episode! I have really bad OCD and count everything! So if I do a specific number of cuts in one area even if it's in the xxx's I have to = that in each area. I was inpatient for 3 days and they addressed NOTHING! I'm in a decent day program now but feel like I'm on a run away train to no where! I'm going to ask them tomorrow to have them admit me to their inpatient program for more intensive treatment. I am sooo numb right now I don't know what emotions are to begin with and I don't cry I feel like a failure and weak if I do. I think I've cried 8 times in 22 years the most recent was my fathers passing in November . I don't know where to turn? I am good at listening and giving advice. I am extremely intelligent iq 153 but I can't care for me. What's wrong with me accepting or asking for help? Extremely despondent!