I know how you feel. I have one close friend I can talk to and thats my husband. I feel awkward talking to new people. I'm friendly with the people I work with but I don't let them get too close. I've found that alot of people are my friend until I have a bipolar moment and they don't know how to deal with it. I'm tired of being judged for something I can't help. I stay away from people when I'm having a bad time and thats the time I could really use a friend. I don't feel like I connect to other people on the same wavelength. Maybe thats the illness.