isn't it awesome being so well known in the ED?...that could be your next entry in the "you know you are borderline when...."

I think we both knew that was going to happen...everytime I have been in the ED it's because I want to end it...get it done...and I believe you QuietOne, thats what you want to do to, end it and get it done, and thats why we end up in ED and thats why you are there now....and thats why we have the panic attacks and thats why you just did!

It's a horribly upsetting mind blowing experience QuietOne and just imagine how amazing you really are being able to go through it...cos it's not your fault, none of it! something doesn't quite work too good inside you. same with me. I was in ED 5 weeks ago....it's always just as bad everytime but I go there to survive! it's happened so often that I tell the staff (who know me as well)...I tell them when the panic is coming so they can prepare the guards. it's crazy...I'm crazy like that...but it's not my fault kinda crazy and this is not your fault kinda crazy either.

and the worse thing they could do was hide me away in a corner somewhere...I hope they don't do that with you unless you prefer it?
yeh at least you got the i-pod.

I would try and get by watching all the casualties coming through the ED..imagine I was them instead of me...but the panic would always come and I would wake up tied to the bed with bruises and quite sore hours later and under the mental health act. luckily I could recover quick and get home after a bit.

but it's all about survival yep...and you obviously have a pretty damn good survival instinct QuietOne...I'll tell ya what crazy feels like and I'm sure you know...it's wanting to die but keep on living at the same time. aaaah!! I just know there are things you want in your life apart from what you want right now...you might not get all of those things like the rest of us, but you will definitely get a few of the best ones you want.

it's worth all the crap just to get through all the crap sometimes ...