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I am not sure if any one in this section of the goup has severe DID like i do, but It turns out that i have a selfharming alter. THis is really scary for me cause when i cut its like i am in a trance like state and I am not aware of my actions.

Anyway it appears at some point t hat i dissociated and I cut with a big knife that i have at home. The only way i know that i cut is that i have the markings on my arm, but yet i felt no pain, and there is still no pain at all. I am completely numb, and i want to cut again. I wanted to scar, and wanted to cut really deep to show to people that i too am deeply deeply hurting, and to show those that dont understand at all that i too have problems. I know this must sound selfish and very very cruel. I dont mean to sound cruel at all.

I am just freaked out to know that i even have a self destructive alter in me. My therapist told me about it. thats how i know i have one.

DO i make any sense at all? or am just jabbering along here. HOpe someone understands. bearhugs.