Life in general is exhausting. It feels like every moment protecting a huge secret. I have tried to keep myself in places where others are when I'm not doing so well, to hopefully stay safe. Last night I didn't feel safe in my own apartment... there's something wrong with that one. I felt that if I stayed there I would have done something bad, so I left, and shot a game of pool to try and get the frustrations out of the day... it kind of helped. Class is going to start in like 35 minutes, and I'm not ready for it. I'm not ready for the quiz, I get part of it, but my mind is not really with me. It's stuck on feeling dizzy, and the sui thoughts. I"m doing my best to stay in public areas until the thoughts disappear, but it's hard keeping up this edge of everything is going just fine. So yes, Life is exhausting