Tom, what you truely have to consciously realize is that YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE AND GROW. Our brains are truely capable of learning how to overcome so many obstacles, more than we currently know as far as learning the science of the brain. But what we do know is that people who are disordered, have autism, asbergers, dislexia, and all kinds of what we can call disabilities of somekind, CAN develope ways to overcome these obstacles. And we have also learned that people who suffer, strokes, brain injuries of all kinds, can also, even though some areas of the brain may suffer damage, like the speach center and mobility centers, CAN "slowly" build new pathways in the brain that can RESTORE these abilities.

When someone goes through this process Tom, it really takes time and these people suffer a sense of loss, inability, anxiety, frustration, and anger while they are trying to "SLOWLY" build new pathways to enable them to regain abilities they have lost. Often there can be accompanieing feeling of depression as well as these people struggle to rebuild their capacities. All these feelings have to slowly be encouraged to somehow be overcome and set aside while a person is taught to concentrate and have faith that they WILL "SLOWLY" IMPROVE AND REGAIN THEIR CAPACITY.

When I have worked with horses and ponies that were abused in some way, it truely was NOT easy. I have a mustang that was beaten in the face, his teeth were broken and he was neglected and he WAS VERY AFRAID OF BEING TOUCHED AND APPROACHED BY HUMANS. If I went to put a saddle on his back? He was so afraid he would just about sit down. And his body would literally shake in fear as his brain sent messages of fear throughout his body.

Tom, I soothed him and constantly talked to him and convinced him that it was ok to be touched, I would not harm him or hit him. However, it took a LOT of time and touching and soothing before I could truely put a saddle on him without him reacting in fear, touch his face without him thinking I was going to hit him, everything I did had to be slow and methodically teaching him how to relax and accept my direction and training. He began to trust ME, however NOT other people, that too took time.

Tom, he will never forget being abused and if he is approached by a person with something in their hands walking up to him and staring him in the eyes, he still reacts with concern. However, he has also learned to trust, to relax while being saddled up, to relax with the farrier who brings tools and touches his feet, to accept the touches of other people. He also has become VERY affectionate and OUTGOING and WANTS TO PLEASE AND LEARN MORE. He LOVES to be ridden and LEARN NEW THINGS. He LOVES TO TRAVEL AND BE INVOLVED IN SHOWS AND MEET OTHER PEOPLE. He actually likes to be around people and WILL nuzzle strangers standing close to him to let them know he is there and friendly.

Tom, though it has taken much time and patience, this wild Mustang, has learned how to trust, learn and overcome HIS ANXIETIES TOWARD THE EXPERIENCE OF INTERACTING WITH HUMANS. And his brain is only the size of a walnut.

Tom, we have proven in many ways that our brains are truely capable of overcoming many obstacles. Have you seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind"? That is a true story of a brilliant man who DID see imaginary people that in reality were not there and he didn't know it. It took time, but eventually he did learn to realize that his brain did present to him that there were people he thought were real but were not. After learning how to accept this, he also learned how to function and tap onto the intelligent aspect of his brain and live out his life.

What you have to understand about YOURSELF Tom, is that you actually are capable of CHANGE and LEARNING HOW TO CONTROL "YOUR BRAIN" better. However, you are also going to have to slowly learn how to STOP YOUR OWN NEGETIVE INPUT THAT CAN LIMIT YOUR OWN BRAIN FROM LEARNING HOW TO PROGRESS AND OVERCOME.

For some reason we think that when we are 15, 18, 25, 30 etc, we are suppose to know and be at a level of understanding who we are and what we are going to be and do the rest of our lives. But the reality is, we are going to make mistakes, get angry, have anxiety, can experience sadness, and personal failure ALL OUR LIVES. All OUR LIVES we are going to GROW AND LEARN AND PROCESS AND OVERCOME. The most important thing we can give ourselves IS PERMISSION TO LEARN HOW TO LEARN ALL OUR LIVES. And to accept our failures and consider each experience as just another opportunity to LEARN AND CONTINUE TO GROW.

If you find yourself saying, I am sick of it ALL, than you must recognize that what that means is you need to LEARN how to progress through that STUCK feeling and that you CAN actually LEARN how to get though that feeling and progress. I am doing that myself, and I am sorting through the trash that has been prohibiting me from progressing. I didn't know how much TRASH I had collected and it HAS been a challenge and still is a challenge, but I have made a decision to continue to work at it and LEARN HOW TO LEARN MY WAY OUT OF IT. I have accepted that it is going to take time and I am going to get frustrated, but I also have to learn to be patient with myself and allow myself to continue to try to LEARN how to work my way OUT of my own issues.

You can do that too Tom, you really can and you don't have to be angry all the time, you can learn how to feel differently. But you have to be dedicated to learning how to understand whatever it is you havent yet mastered and begin to allow yourself to be kind to yourself and be willing to investegate and learn. Also understand that it truely doesn't happen overnight, and it is ok, you will slowly get better at it.

Open Eyes