You're neither of these things -- you are obviously having a REALLY hard time right now. Quitting the thing that makes you feel better when things are so hard, no matter how destructive you know it is, is HARD. I'm interested in Sannah's questions, but also wanted to tell you that what you're doing right now is difficult, and not because you're crazy or stupid.

This sounds a lot like me in high school. Insomnia is the worst and is its own vicious cycle. Try to focus on one thing at a time... thinking about everything at once is bound to be overwhelming.