I haven't got much knowledge about disassociaton disorder, but did notice the part where you said you weren't ready to see a professional.

I know that feeling. You try and figure out over and over again what is wrong.
Lots of people find it difficult to talk to a professional about what is wrong unless they understand and know what they are talking about. But try to see it that way, if you go to a doctor saying your tummy is hurting, you don't know exactly what is wrong neither. A psychiatrist/ psychologist/ psychotherapist are trained in mental disorders. They are trained to look out for symptoms you won't find on the internet. And... They are very sympathetic and helpful. You only benefit by seeing them.

I hope you find the answere you are looking for.