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Jan 21, 2012, 07:21 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Hi ~ I'm sorry you're feeling torn. This happens alot with kids of divorced parents, but just being a teenager is rough! The desire of privacy and independence is normal, but you must realize that right now you're just too young to have complete independence --- you may feel that you're ready for it, but believe me --- you're not.  Even when I left home at 18, I wanted to go back. LOL It's a scary world out there! 
I guess I can understand your feelings about your parents divorce, but to be perfectly honest (and please don't take this the way that it sounds) it's really none of your business. LOL I wish you could hear the tone of my voice so you're not offended. LOL Your parents shouldn't have told you the "gory" details of the divorce -- just saying that they couldn't get along should have been enough. BOTH were to blame -- ONE person can NOT break up a marriage! It takes two. So please try to forgive your Mother. You really don't know why she was so unhappy back then.
Being stuck in the middle is a frequent problem for kids in a divorce situation. Perhaps you can sit your parents down and let them know that you do NOT want to carry messages back and forth -- and tell them nicely. It's not your job -- if your parents want to contact each other, they can do it by mail, or they can be civil and TALK to each other via phone. Tell them you feel like you're betraying each of them -- for example the key incident.
If you feel you would be happier living with Dad -- and it would be ok with Dad -- then CERTAINLY go ahead and do it! We're talking about your mental health here, and your happiness! Mom will get over it, and you will still see her. She's remarried, so she won't be alone. Stop feeling guilty about stuff -- you didn't do anything.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to speak to a therapist about some of these things. I've been in therapy off and on all my adult life and it's done me a world of good! There's no harm in trying it.
I wish you the very best! Please take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee
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