I don't know what is going on with me. I've been treated for clinical depression before. But this feel different from the other times. I have been "depressed" for most of last year but the past 5 months i have gradually been getting worse.

I was so determined to get better without help or medication but i'm not getting better on my own in fact i think i'm getting worse. I have an appointment with my Dr on Monday.

My moods are up and down like a rollercoaster. One day i am in the pits of despair and really need help to stay safe and the very next day i can be fine, normal, a little sad but fairly balanced and i think to myself i can do this on my own i can get better. Then the next day or so, i'm back in the pits of depression, feeling numb, not real, like i want to die, my inner thoughts telling me just die there's no point to staying alive etc.

Has anyone else experienced this?