Hi EJ,

I have a friend who, similar to your story, adopted a child and the adoption didn't work out. I think it was due to the child's psycholigical issues, too, and I know my friend struggles as well at times. I know it can be hard, although I also think it has eased some with the passage of time for her. Still, I know she continues to wonder how their adopted daughter fared after she left, and what happened, and she continues to grieve that loss and that situation. So I feel for you and I know that can be a very difficult thing.

I struggle with Mother's Day as well, but for other reasons, mostly because my relationship with my mother was not a good one, and it feels like such an awkward day. I try to find ways to think about the day differently. One of the things I do is try to celebrate the mothers I know as friends here locally. I buy one or two Mother's Day cards to give to my closest friends who are mothers, just to wish them well for Mother's Day, and thank them for working to make a healthy home, and for being loving mothers to their family. This somehow helps me feel better about the day. Even if my mother wasn't a very good one, it helps me to remember that there are mothers out there who are working to be loving and caring, and to find ways to celebrate that for them and for myself. Some years if it is a particularly close friend, I've gotten them some flowers or something too.....it has helped me feel better about the day. Sometimes I take myself out to lunch after church, which I wouldn't normally do. I try to treat myself gently and find some ways to pamper myself, even if it is taking time for a walk or listening to music I especially like on my CD player. I know these might not be ideas that would appeal to other people but somehow they seem to help me get through this time each year.

Sorry it is a hard time for you too, EJ. I'm thinking of you and sending you many caring wishes.....take extra-gentle care of you, okay?

Hugs,
ErinBear