Separateness is something I struggle with and I wondered if others here can relate. This is from an article here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-t...mindful-living

My issue is not aggressive communication, but passive communication. I do this in therapy. I am trying to un-learn this but it is hard.
Old dog/New tricks. hard!
Detour, road closed. hard!
But I am beginning to see the payoff of feeling calmer, feeling I have the power and ability and skill to deal with what may come up. These things mean that what does come up doesn't seem to be as threatening as it once would have felt. It means there isn't a sense of needing to "do" something (aggression, lashing out, avoiding/isolating, running away).
There is much freedom in learning that I have some control, not over what comes my way that comes from outside of me, but in my response to it that comes from within.
So the new trick reaps reward, and the new path around the detour gets me to where I wanted to get to in the first place .

I wonder if the 'quiet borderline' (there have been some articles and posts here about this, might really be those who engage in passive communication while still suffering the intensity of the emotional responses that are associated with BPD.

So, separateness is something that my T helps me understand and helps me see when difficulty with separateness is affecting me in my relationships.

Do you talk about this in your therapy?