I feel very down and depressed on my second wedding anniversary. I have failed my husband many times over the last 2 years but have managed to forgive myself and move on. I can't forgive my body though. I am trying so very hard not to indulge in negative thinking but I feel grotesque.

My feelings are very fragile today. I should be happy, instead I feel desolate, and embarrassed and very self conscious. I just want a hole to open up and swallow me. Problem is I might not find one big enough. I just want to run away and hide where it is dark and quiet.

I am trying to be happy with my steps at improving myself but since they aren't working anyway, all I can feel is useless and that I am still failing my husband.

I haved failed my husband by looking the way that I do. And I have failed myself by trying to fix it and months later look worse than ever.

Please forgive all my self-pity. I feel terribly alone, lonely and uncomfortable today.