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Old Jan 21, 2012, 11:41 AM
learning1 learning1 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,872
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3rdTimesTheCharm View Post

Here's the issue, I think. When misunderstandings happen, inside or outside of T, in any relationship (some people here call them ruptures), of course you talk about it, as you have. What if the talk is unsuccessful? Do you go back and try again? How many times? How much energy do you put towards it before you realize that this is one of those relationships that you have to let go?
That seems like the issue to me too. For me, hearing t say something like that and not getting the resolution I need once I've struggled to bring it up would make it feel pretty hopeless. But for most the people posting on this thread it seemed like they weren't even sure mcl had done what they would consider trying to discuss it yet. So if a lot of people understand it that way, maybe they don't attribute as much significance to mcl's effort to talk about it as she would or as I would, and maybe the t didn't get it either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3rdTimesTheCharm View Post
... Only you can decide whether you want to expend more energy to get past that place of what can feel like awfulness to see if you can break through to the other side.
It seems to me like mcl is very aware that only she can decide. I want to suggest for her to give it some more times with her t.