My T told me once that "good enough" is 1/3 of the time not dealing with the misunderstanding/rupture--just letting it go, and 1/3 bringing it up with the person and mending the rupture, and 1/3 bringing it up, trying to mend, not being successful and then having to let it go. I guess this is what is thought to be "good enough" in the mother-child relationship and by extension, all of our important relationships. This comes from Winnicott, I think--the "good enough mother." That helped me understand that at least trying to deal with it with the person was a worthy goal (especially for conflict avoidant me), because then there was a good chance it might get resolved. But if it didn't get resolved, or I just let it slide and never brought it up, the relationship might still be OK and survive, if we had a history of at least being able to resolve a significant portion of our misunderstandings. It also helped me be OK with letting go of a certain fraction of misunderstandings. Everything didn't have to be 100% resolved and discussed in order for I and my T (and I and others) to have a super amazing relationship. If my T uses a word that makes me go "gulp" or "what?", sometimes I bring it up and we discuss that, but sometimes I just let it ride and reflect on it internally, confident that he didn't mean anything awful because I know we have such a strong relationship and he cares about me. I think this is harder to do before the relationship is well established, especially if one has a history of untrustworthy significant others in one's life.

I think everyone has a somewhat different tipping point for what is good enough and what isn't.