I'm trying to give myself time, another reason for me staying in public places. The thing that scares me the most is the simple fact that I found a way out that would work. It's scary when as you attempt to put in on a back burner, that the thoughts intensify, and start to freak me out. I was hospitalized a week ago, I don't want to go back so quickly. I know what I'm thinking, and I know I have to get it out of me. I wrote it down, and plan to destroy it.

I am just starting with a new therapist, and I don't know how comfortable I will be with her. Given my state of mind. I'm 23 and I've been dealing with this since I was 17. (5.5 years so far) I've had countless thoughts of suicide, and self injury. I know when things are getting bad, and they seem to get bad on the weekends, and when I'm alone. Oh and, I'm alone now except for those studying around me in other cubicles.

I'm attempting to put it on a back burner, but it's just not working. Any thoughts to get it there?