I'm sorry you feel so bad. Going by what you say, you must have been doing better for a spell and then, somehow, you lost it. That's hard. Believe me - I know. You get to thinking what's the point of pulling myself together and, maybe, being better for awhile, if it doesn't last?

It's hard to argue with that. You need to have people in your life that you care about and that really care about you. Maybe you already do. Tell them you feel bad. Tell us. I won't ever tell anyone who is depressed that they should try to cheer up. If you have a friend, I hope your friend doesn't tell you that, either. If your friend does, maybe you could explain that you can't cheer up right now, and you just need someone to be there so you will be less lonely.