Update

You all helped to persuade me to contact the crisis team...and so last night I sent the text explaining what had been happening. Mr M. (privacy/confidentiality) text back and we were texting for about two hours, at some times trying to persuade me to agree to hospitalization. However a phone call helped us come to an agreement that a medication review should be tried first. We discussed how I was going to keep myself safe over the weekend and I got the Sunday hours number given to me. We haven't spoken since that (last night).

However. Today I found myself wandering to the top floor of a building and having a look around...in the rain, by myself, getting soaked. I walked off from my friends to do this. Now. Herein lies the problem, I am right now in my logical frame of mind and therefore think hospitalization may indeed be necessary. But the issue is, last time I was admitted to a hospital of which I found TERRIBLE. I was bullied; it felt claustrophobic, and I also encountered bullying from some of the staff once they discovered my sexuality. I was transferred EVENTUALLY to a better hospital. But I am NOT going to that one again. I'd be willing to go voluntarily ONLY if they allowed me to go to a hospital other than that one. It was seriously horrible and I get reduced to tears thinking about it - it's definitely no place to recover OR make me feel safe.

Question is, if I agree to go willingly on the condition that I stay safe until they find a place at a hospital other than the one I experienced in a much, much more negative than positive way, and tell them all about that one hospital...would they agree?

RB ♥