Don't worry... I won't be rude. I am just fed up with these thoughts telling me I won't ever get a job. I tried emailing a lady from the course about work but she hasn't responded. She might be busy. I keep getting suicidal thoughts. Will these get worse? I read on a poster on a wall in the classroom that if someone has suicidal thoughts they should tell the tutor. But does this mean I may have to tell my tutor if I have suicidal thoughts? I am jealous of my boyfriend who has a job and urgh these thoughts are annoying me. He is 23 so he is old enough to get a job. I am a bit young. Maybe it's not my time to have a job. The reassurance of the tutor did help me when I came in for an induction and she told that she will help in any way. If I need help I have to ask her. What would happen if I told her about my suicidal thoughts? I say I want to not be here as a way of saying I can't deal with this. One day I will loose it and just do something. I hate jealously. I know I keep posting the same stuff but I want to vent and I need to forget all these bad thoughts. Please shut up you bad thoughts.