Quote:
Originally Posted by TheQuietOnexx
yesterday i was talking to my friend and she's trying to find ways for me to stay safe, i did try and listen to her but i feel awful because i know i'm going to do something.
the crisis team called me this morning on a blocked number so i answered, but i said i was okay, gave one word answers, couldn't give away how much i am struggling.
my cousins are both home today which means they are going to try and get me out of the house doing something active, which i can't face right now.
the crisis team are going to get T to call me tomorrow cuz i said i didn't know when my appt with her was. i don't want to talk to her cuz she'll know that i'm not okay.
maybe i should just get it over with.. do it today. all thats stopping me is that i'm terrified i will screw it up again, and i can't deal with everything that happens after.
i don't know what to do. i am so overwhelmed.
i know that i should either talk to my friend or the crisis team.. but i don't want to worry my friend because i don't think i'll be able to stay safe and the crisis team will just make me go back to hospital which i can't take.
so i guess thats why i'm posting on here.. the more i look at it the more i think it's the best option, the only option.
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damn it I had to write this twice cos the damn computer!!!..
QuietOne ...you are killing me here!....
I am ....nah screw that!...look mate...I know what you are feeling....everything except the part where you are making me feel flippin' useless.
now listen to me girl..!!
YOU are going to stay ALIVE alright!!...
if you go do something stupid I am gonna come and kick your ***!
you are making it very hard for me.
I don't want to hear from you unless you have something better to say ok...it's outright insensitive of me to say but you are not caring for me at the moment.!!...I have stuck with you every step of the way....so how bout' you meet me half way huh?
I am tough...real tough but I have my limits....no more nice guy unless you meet me half way...James xo