Is Maverick among the friends you are with? I remember you saying how very helpful and caring he is. Omg, can I ever relate to the putting on a happy face and making others laugh despite it all. AND the not wanting to upset people. So I totally know what you're saying. BUT. Here's the thing. Trust me. When things are serious, they WANT TO KNOW! How many times have loved ones fervently wished that their loved one had said something? You know? Wouldn't you want to know if they were having serious trouble? Of course you would! And you would not consider it a burden would you? How often we think people would, don't we? But this is a distortion depression tries to make seem like truth. It isn't so. They love you far more than you might feel right now. As do we.

And truly. It is an honor to be able to help you in any way possible. It is giving meaning to my life, at a time when, well, frankly there isn't much.

And yes, please do tell them the whole story. You should tell them about your experience at Alpha too, so they understand that it is help you want. And that you want to work together to get through this. You are very mature and well-spoken for your age and I'm sure they can respect this.