I guess I am depressed. I been feeling pretty awful past few days, to the point of "if I cannot live the life on my own terms, I am gonna go out on my own terms at least".

I know I may be bit irrational at the moment, but aren't these still my thoughts? Does it really matter if that is me, or if I am "just" depressed at the moment, if this is how I feel? I am very existentialist even at good times (except, I don't mind as much).

I just need to get my spark back.... ASAP.